Hi Dad,
We thought about writing something super sentimental, but you’d probably just turn it into a pun, so let’s keep it simple: you’re pretty great. Like, suspiciously great. We still don’t know how one guy knows how to fix a leaky faucet AND talk us down from a 2am crisis call.
Here’s a dad joke, on the house:
Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts. 💀
- Professional griller 🔥 (self-appointed)
- Free 24/7 tech support (still unofficial, still unpaid)
- Reigning champion of the dad joke 🏆
- World’s okayest handyman 🔧 (we love you anyway)
- Our actual favorite person ❤️
Love, your two favorite disasters,
Brandon & Ryan
Oh, also…
Your real gift is on its way
📬 taking the scenic route
We got you an AncestryDNA kit! It’s still in transit — somewhere out there “finding itself,” which feels weirdly on-brand for a gift about figuring out where you come from.
Made with love (and a little shipping delay) by your sons.